In this community, we talk a lot about supporting fertility and achieving your dreams of becoming a parent. But we don’t spend as much time talking about what happens after your fertility journey. Whether that means you’re pregnant, had a baby, or pursued other options (like surrogacy, adoption, or even life without children) - it can be hard to know how to move forward when so much of your life has revolved around getting pregnant.
Studies have shown that people walking through a fertility journey have comparable stress levels to those of a cancer patient. So when that journey comes to a close, your body and mind are much different than when you began.
Here are some important discussions and resources for the chapter after your fertility journey - regardless of what that looks like.
Pregnancy & Motherhood after Infertility
While this season after a fertility journey can come with abundant joy, it can also be fraught with guilt and anxiety. It’s truly a form of PTSD, and feelings of “survivor’s guilt” are common. I’ve been there myself, and I can absolutely say that the impact of your story stays with you - it doesn’t just disappear when your baby is born. It’s why I became a fertility coach and a powerful driving force behind the work I do every day!
Community Perspective: Jenna Kutcher has openly talked about her fertility journey, as well as the seasons that have followed. You can get a peek into her heart here, here, and here.
On the Podcast: Mental Health for Moms with Kaitlin Soule
Parenthood through Surrogacy, Adoption
Pursuing another route to parenthood outside of your own pregnancy can feel heartbreaking, exhausting, and exciting - all at once! Letting go of what could have been and embracing what could be. Knowing you’re not alone and that the feelings you’re experiencing are normal can bring a huge sense of relief.
Community Perspective: Elizabeth Banks has two children via surrogacy, and opens up about her story here.
On the Podcast: The Beauty of an Open Adoption with Rachel Nielsen
Childfree Life
Walking away from your fertility journey without a child is rarely talked about, but a scenario that some families do face. While the heartache of this outcome may never truly fade, there is hope to be had in this season too.
Community Perspective: Read the stories of six different people who have navigated a childless life after infertility here.
On the Podcast: A Beautiful Childless Life after Failed IVFs with Lana Manikowski
Regardless of the outcome, I want to honor the journey you’ve experienced and support you in whatever chapter you’re in. I encourage you to nurture your body, mind, and spirit in this season after infertility. I love meditations like this one to help ground me in the present. And know that you don’t have to live your story alone. There are community support groups as well as coaching available for you. May you feel the love of all those who have walked a similar path and know your worth as so much more than parenthood.
PS: If you’re feeling pulled to use your story for a greater purpose, I encourage you to learn more about fertility coaching through Fertility Coach Academy.