Father's Day is typically the time we celebrate the men in our lives with barbeque gifts, ties, and corny jokes, but it can be a complicated holiday for some. While many are out celebrating their dads, many might be grieving the loss of their own or waiting to become fathers themselves.
When it comes to battling infertility, it can feel like women typically bear the burden of isolation, hurt, and hopelessness—all the negative emotions when it comes to TTC.
But that's not always the case.
It turns out that a large percentage of couples have trouble conceiving due to Male Factor Infertility, and it can take a toll on his mental health and a couple's relationship. While there are ways to boost his chances of becoming a dad, it can feel like an agonizing waiting game.
While not all men have the strong desire to become a parent, many yearn to have children of their own and deal with their own negative emotions. For holidays like Father's Day and every day, it's important to recognize that these feelings might surface and learn to embrace them as they come. Below are a few ways you can celebrate Father's Day together in a way that supports him.
How to Celebrate Father's Day When You're Still TTC
1. Stay offline.
Many people use social media to post about "first Father's Day", show off their baby bumps, and thank their partners for being great parents. Scrolling on social media on or around Father's Day can trigger negative emotions, so I recommend removing apps, turning off notifications, and just generally staying offline around the holiday to help you stay in a positive headspace.
2. Prioritize your relationship.
The stresses of life and fertility treatments can take a toll on your relationship. It's not easy to feel connected and aligned or find time for romantic activities when everything in your world revolves around getting pregnant. Find ways to re-prioritize your relationship with activities you love to do together. Consider scheduling some of the fun date ideas below:
Roadtrip for a nearby getaway to your favorite place
Spa day for a couples massage
Cooking class or tasting session
Afternoon bike ride or boat ride and picnic
Walking tour in your city
Art gallery walk
3. Write a letter to him and show your gratitude.
Sometimes, words are easier written than said. Because emotions can run high during TTC, this holiday is a great opportunity to show gratitude towards your partner and help them remember how important they are to you. Consider writing a letter of things you love about your partner. If you know your partner's Love Languages, now is the time to make sure your partner knows that they're appreciated.
4. Make time for him to be alone.
People deal with the stresses of life differently. Some might prefer to be surrounded by their loved ones and others might prefer to decompress alone. Ask your partner how he'd like to spend his time on Father's Day and allow him the time and space he needs. Whether it's a bike ride, a golf trip, or a hike, allow him to enjoy time away from the stress of TTC and fertility treatments.
5. Be prepared for strong emotions if they come up.
Father's Day can be a triggering holiday, and it's completely normal if your partner experiences negative emotions. If feelings like anger or frustration come up, remember that this is the time to support each other and these are the experiences that test the strength of your relationship. Take a deep breath, remain open to his feelings, and know that this is temporary.
Relationships aren't easy, and it's understandable if feelings of resentment, frustration, and anger come up during the TTC progress. But I promise it's possible to celebrate and feel even stronger through this experience. If you need help working through your relationship, I'm available to chat. Book a call with me today.