One of the common hardships I see with my TTC clients is how hard infertility can be on relationships. I'm not going to lie—IVF was hard on my marriage. There are so many factors that can cause stress during this difficult time. Personally, I was stressed over:
how my body couldn't perform the way I hoped on a biological level
scheduled sex that became a chore
the financial burden
the waiting game
The stress and emotions of trying to carry on with normal life is already difficult. Then add all the doctor appointments, blood draws, shots, pharmacy runs, and bills? There is so much unknown territory when you're undergoing alternative fertility methods, and I understand why it's difficult for many couples. Here are a few things I recommend to keep a strong relationship when you're trying to conceive:
Keep lines of communication as open as possible.
You guys are on the same team with the same goal. The only way to make it through successfully is to work together and not against each other.
Make it a point to communicate as openly as possible, and encourage your partner to do the same. If you need something specific, communicate those wishes. You cannot expect your partner to read your mind and know how you're feeling.
Also, make it a point to be a good listener. Your partner's feelings are also valid in this process. No matter how stressful the situation may be, try to keep lines of communication open.
Set aside a consistent date night free of TTC talk.
Yes, you read that right. You're probably thinking, "No way, Elizabeth. There's just no way a date night can be possible right now."
When you're in the season of trying to conceive, baby talk is probably the dominating topic of conversation. It's common in a lot of relationships. Whether you feel it or not, it can be stressful for a partnership.
Make it a point to set aside a consistent date night where you can focus on your relationship free of TTC talk. Try a weekly or even bi-weekly date night and prioritize it.
Show your gratitude.
One person in your relationship has to change the energy in order for there to be a positive shift. If you know your partner's Love Language, now is the time to make sure your partner knows that they're appreciated. Uplift your partner by showing them extra gratitude with their Love Language.
The ideal situation is that you come out of the TTC experience closer and stronger than ever. If you need help figuring out how to make fertility treatments and strong relationship work, book a free 20-minute discovery call with me so we can get the help you need in your fertility journey.